check if we need to forward port a possible win32 security fix from kh
do not use SO_REUSEADDR on windows, breaks the reload handling MS defined SO_REUSEADDR differently to BSD and linux and have allowed some stupid security issue on it for port stealing. They messed it up, added another option which doesn't help here and advise not using this option. Luckily the default behaviour is acceptable. I've also avoided the abort case which should not trigger but if it does, it reports an error and skips the rest.
Needs checking against Windows documentation. There might be some differences in how kh and we use things.